Courage

Why do we often find it so difficult to change situations in which we are unhappy?

This usually has a lot to do with our need for security and a sense of belonging. Both come immediately after the satisfaction of our physiological needs on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. As well as personal safety, this includes work, health and our relationships with others. Applied to our lives, this means: what we know is predictable and gives us a sense of security. Changing something is a step into the new, into the unknown. It’s something that often feels risky and requires courage.

That doesn’t mean we should stay stuck. For what we cannot – yet – imagine is just how much exciting and energising the unknown has in store for us.

When we open ourselves up to thinking in new ways and acting differently, we discover that change itself is an exciting journey with many stages. A journey that offers new, inspiring and enriching insights and, above all, a sense of coming home to oneself.

The American psychiatrist Dr Arnold Beisser put it aptly over 50 years ago in his ‘Paradoxical Theory of Change’:

‘Change happens when you become what you are. Not when you try to become what you are not.’

So the question is: how much time and energy do you invest in living up to the real or, more often, perceived expectations of others, and in doing so, becoming or remaining what you are not?

Perhaps you have the courage and curiosity to find out who and what you really are, and what unknown sides and abilities you might discover along the way?